Friday, 20 August 2010

It's been awhile....

Actually quite a poignant title...I think the Staind song with the same title has a few lines that are more than appropriate at the moment...

It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high...

It's been a while
Since I could say
I love myself as well and...

It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do

I remember saying to my mum a few weeks into the diet that it was easy - I wasn't hungry and felt good.  And yet I still sabotaged the weight loss, started playing around, substituting meals and then unconsciously I guess, thinking one bite won't hurt.  Instead of making a healthy choice at dinner time if I was still hungry or didn't want a soup etc I'd pick on left overs...in fact left overs have become my worst enemy!  I can go all day fine and then dinner destroys all my good intentions.

For the couple of weeks I have vowed to myself to get back to 100% but then think....just one more meal/day...and then the vicious cycle of beating myself up....3 weeks of playing around means I am 3/4 stone off my target now and the wedding looms and the dress fits but not well....

So, I'm back to blogging as my support net.  I don't want to bore friends and family (DH seems rather indifferent to it all) with my long term struggles and don't want to be judged on the forum for doing a VLCD so here I am!!

Prepare for waffle!!

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