Monday, 14 June 2010

Issue Numero Uno

Well, I started out doing okay but after my terribly depressing birthday post I kind of ran off.  Which is my usual form when my life goes tits up, but running away from your own blog is rather pathetic!!  Although in the last few weeks I have also totally cut myself off from the forum and friends in general :(

Maybe I should just rename this blog as the depressing ramblings of a 30 something frumpy mummy...hmm, but then that is depressing in itself but oh so true LOL!

So folks, why am I running away again?

Issue Numero Uno:

DH's work.  For those  that don't know me well (I am pretending here that anyone other than me will ever read this!) this has been an ongoing issue for years.   A few years back DH got a  promotion, well, it was that or redundancy, which basically meant he was doing both his old 12+ hour a day job PLUS the new job....he works all hours, is knackered constantly and is never on top of his workload anymore and for Mr. OCD that's tough!  DH is a share holder (a lot of money we scraped to find) so that company basically is everything to him (us!)....he works like an idiot to keep it running (in the last hideous years when most UK manufacturing has disappeared)  It's been touch and go, a new MD was brought in to turn things around but there was talk of the inevitable closure until they won a HUGE new contract early last year.  The board decided they would put the money in to keep it going - at the cost of 10% of the share holders wages.

We have struggled on decreased money which eventually placed us in a very bad financial situation, the contract meant that DH worked 7 days a week for 12-18 hours a day.  The last few years have been tough but last year was basically hell.  Then they found out that they had lost several £100k on the contract, directors were fired, redundancies were made and now there is just DH running the company as all the other managers have gone.  There is a Sales Director who is out on the road and the MD.   Despite everything there is no money, the company SHOULD be doing well but it isn't.  The new MD appears to have made things worse and the directors have brought in a new man AGAIN....to basically see if there was any point in staying open.

So, today we are meant to find out if - after years of DH killing himself working, committing everything to the company, money, time, almost destroying our marriage (we have almost split up over his work so so so many times these last couple of years as he puts it before us - I know why, he wants to provide for us, etc etc, but I have spent over 2 years bringing my kids up alone, sitting at home on my own all day and night, doing everything myself from housework, DIY, quite literally everything... only seeing him when he comes home to eat and fall asleep (sometimes doing the latter before I have even managed to finish his food)  and his coping mechanism of sleeping constantly drives me mad as I NEED a break or at least some help with everything....FFS I run a business, look after and home school 3 kids as well as do all the housework, home stuff, etc.) - whether they are going into administration.  I don't think I have ever seen DH as depressed as he is atm and if he loses his job then I have no idea what is going to happen...we'll lose the car as that's a company car...we have no savings thank to living on his reduced wages for so long....

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